Book ‘Review’–Free Lunch by David Cay Johnston

Book Review 28Jan2008

Free Lunch, by David Cay Johnston

(now retired from the NY Times, I believe.)

There's a good reason for this thumbnail. Read on.

Well, you can--I've kept it as a shirttail below, but let me start over--was having too much fun goofing off. You can read it if you've nothing better to do.

David offers, as usual (vide. his book about the IRS, Perfectly Legal), blood-boiling tales from the trenches of taxation, "corporatism," the "contributor class," our broken government--pretty much everything about it, the incredible redistribution of wealth from the poor to the absolutely, disgustingly, unholily filthy-rich.

But David pulls his punches at the very last gasp. (IMHO, of course.) I can't figure out why.

His super-duper idea to help put a little more reality into the lives of Members of Congress. By paying all their expenses, never mind how outre they might be. However, as their expense reports are handed in each month (weekly might be better), they'd be posted on the web in an easy-to-analyse format.

David gives up on reforming campaign financing because the Supremes have called money "political speech." Well, it's certainly not the stupidest thing the Supremes have done over time. But I'll bet no lawyer thought of sticking a sensitive microphone in Ben Franklin's face during oral argument and asking him to speak up for the Strict Destructionists.

"No, really, Ben. Scalia says you're political speech. So, whad’ya think of the Florida recount? No opinion? Oh, c'mon Ben, Tony says you're political speech."

[Plaintiff's counsellor grasps the corner of the $100 bill and shakes it; courtroom audience rises as one to its feet, shouting]

"Speech. Speech. Speech!!

[One of "our" Supremes mumbles something about "literal-minded or liberal-minded bastards" and disappears into the robing room.* Exeunt all, court right.]

In return for all expenses, the gift-tolerance would be zero. Free bourbon and branch-water--you're gone. Free pass to the Celts--you're gone. Free lift to Paris--you're gone. Stuff like that. You could do all those things, but you have to fill out the expense report, including that "purpose of visit/expenditure" field. House and Senate determine if there's been waste, fraud or abuse or "conduct unbecoming"--that's their exclusive bail- and bondi-wick--what a great

topless beach, no? And every coupl'a years, the citizens get a crack at ’em in the paper-ballots-only voting booth.

Problem is, ordinary or even extraordinary expensese isn't REALLY where all the malfeasance lies. It's in the campaign contributions.

So how do you take care of that problem? One simple way to get MOST of the bucks out of the mix is to make campaign advertising FREE (like FREE political speech--take THAT, you less-than-supreme Supremes!)

How? We get the FCC to set aside maybe a dozen channels in OUR "electromagnetic spectrum" for political campaign advertising. That is, don't auction them off in the next few weeks.

One channel could be for presidential races, another for congressional races, another for gubernatorial and state exec. branch races, another for state legislative races, ditto for mayoral, city council, school board, dog catcher, county boards of supervisors, county judges, water districts, customs-free zones, First American Reservation races, maybe even high school student council races.

If campaign advertising were free, us Americans would not have to suffer because our "elected officials" were selling out our institutions, giving away our taxes, our jobs, our buildings, our roads, bridges, dams, health care, our educations, our pensions--to campaign contributors for half-pennies on the dollar. Hell, it's worse than that--thousandths of a penny on the dollar.

There's even a nice acronym for the campaign contribution business practice (I think I first saw it in Newsweek way back when): ROPI--return on political investment. Instead of a handsome ROI of 15%, 20% (newspapers, some of them, were getting 29% and Balls Treet said that wasn't enough), corporations get ROPI more in the range of 1,853%, or 2,231%. Tell me that doesn't deserve a windfall profits tax to bring the numbers back in line with non-criminal behavior.

It would be far, far cheaper even to just extend the "all-expenses-paid" model David

proposes to cover all campaign costs, as well--except it'd be a bit more tricky as to how to handle all the challengers.

———————

* This is amusing: Robe--ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French, from the Germanic base (in the sense ‘booty’ ) of rob (because clothing was an important component of booty). OED,  version.

Blood-boiling tales from the trenches of taxation, “corporatism,” the “contributor class,” but David pulls his punches at the very last gasp. (IMHO, of course.)

He makes the great proposal--I think it’s great, anyway--to change our funding of Congresspersons to pay all their expenses, even travel to Tahiti to inspect the cold-sink at the back of a bar.

(I think this is a portrait of Paul's house near Papeete (I liked Bora Bora better--not Tora Bora, but Bora Bora, even though the signs with castaway auto tires with a little puddle of water inside, surrounded by a red circle with a slash from 1 to 7 on a clock dial--and the concern about mosquito-borne elephantiasis was a slight turn-off).

Right. Sorry. Happens with old age. Where was I?

Ahh, the wet-bar. However, all these Congress-folk expense reports, to be filed monthly, will be made available on the Internet, “in a format that makes for easy analysis,” David puts it.

This would include any and all expenses for having to maintain a dual residency, travel to and fro, etc.

I think it would be an additional good thing to provide Washington, DC housing for Members of Congress And Their Families--I think Cokie (aka Mary Martha Corinne Morrison Claiborn Boggs) Roberts (isn't that an absolutely GREAT handle? Not only “What a moniker!” but “What a monogram!” MMCMCBR-- and acronym, too, if my Roman Arithmetic hasn’t gone the way of my attention span: “2,900 Congressional Briefings and Reports”--for MMCM, plus CBR. Of course, CBR--also Cokie Boggs Roberts?--could stand for Chemical, Biological & Radiological, that part of basic training where you get to put on a gas mask and find out where it doesn't fit your face when they pull the pin on a tear gas grenade--or that part of Invade Iraq I where we were worried that the Iraqi Army would use all the CBR weapons on us that Rumsfeld et al. had sold Saddam back when he was our ally/surrogate in the 8-year war on Iran, one of the drive-shafts of evil. Oops, it’s “Axle of Evil.” Keep forgetting.) Speaking of witch, or warlock, wouldn’t it be great if no one showed up for Shrub’s last “Spate of the Union Lies” performance tonight? Treat shrub like the media has been treating Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul: Just ignore the Son of a Barbara!

What was it? Of 955 or so administration lies on Iraq, Shrub spewed 250 of ’em? Yeah, of course “He believed ’em when he told ’em.” And I suppose you believe that lie you just told us when you told us, a second ago, right? And I’m going to privatize your home and mount it on top of the Brooklyn Bridge that we're going to sell to Blackwater this week. They’ll man the toll booths with AK-47s and shoot anyone who doesn't have correct change. Now that would decrease auto traffic in and out of Manhattan, sho’nuff!)